Why Can't I...

I have no problem telling other people that you don't have to do things hard core, if that's the right wording, but when it comes to thinking that myself... well, I'm a bozo.

A few weeks back I was talking to one of my friends about cloth diapering and she said.. you don't have to be a "hard core" cloth diapering parent. Use cloth when you can and disposable when you can. It was like a "duh" moment for me.. why do I think if I'm going to do something I have to dive in full force? Please, that's insane!

So the reason for thinking about all this is because of Brennan, by now everyone knows he's a bit of a "high needs" baby. Most people know too that I hate pacifiers. Landen never took a pacifier and didn't care for it.. great! Amelia loved hers and it was helpful.. however she has really sensitive skin and the pacifier broke her out. She always had this horrible scab on her face, it breaks my heart to think I gave her that stupid thing and now she has a permanent scar on her face because of it. Well I went and purchased the nuk and binky for Brennan to try after talking to my mom and a solution, going to the doctor, etc. Kurt has been okay with us using it and I keep saying "no" but after much thought about the other kids never getting to do anything, Brennan crying so much, never going anywhere, we're going to try it. Even if it's just for awhile and then we put it away.. we need something to get us over this hump.. and I hope it works!

My lesson for the week.. to keep in my numskull head... you can do things that work for awhile, it doesn't mean you have to do it forever. Same with watching a little more tv one day, not doing the activities one day and doing them the next, using disposables at night, etc! =)

Makes me Keep Going

My mom told me something that makes me keep going even when I want to pull my hair out.

I've been spending the entire time at Mass in the back with Brennan, makes me not want to go to be quite honest. I know I'm there for bigger reasons than being able to hear everything. I've even thought about leaving the kids and going separately but I'd be taking Brennan no matter what so that doesn't matter.

Back to what keeps me going on... At the Baptism my amazing family sat with Landen & Amelia. They did great with them and it was nice for a change. Amelia had to tell my sisters all about the angels at church and what everything is and sang along with everything, knowing the parts of the Mass. Landen told my brothers that he was standing up (when they were supposed to be kneeling) because he wanted to "see" the miracle. (During the ringing of the bells, when I can I always tell them to listen and watch, the miracle is happening.) I certainly never thought they were really listening, after all they don't act like it very often, but I was proven wrong. =)

Time for Change

Kurt accepted a new job! I really have been a bit uneasy about the entire thing, but I have to believe God has a great roll in how all this happened to just fall into place. Things have been pretty unstable at his old job but thankfully Kurt's job has been safe, however there has been pay cuts, lay offs and other things that have made things far from ideal. The new job really presents itself has a great opportunity for Kurt to grow with more responsibilities and make more money. I don't really like the idea of possible more traveling, but they have their own private helicopter so hopefully he'll be back every single night. I don't think our family can function with him being gone for days on end. The job is back in our home towns basically, five minutes from Kurt's family and 15 from mine. Something that really never crossed my mind, I always figured if Kurt were to take another job it would be even further from family, but now we have the option to be very close. So, Friday is his last day and Monday he'll be starting the new job. =) Definitely a change for the best and time will tell what the future brings!

Quote To Remember

Let us never Forget: Love Starts At Home. - Mother Teresa

Lots of Things - Good & Bad

I do miss posting regularly on this blog. I just don't have time, other things take priority over this and dang it, to be quite honest I'm struggling. Random Blahs -

*Three children under the age of four is one hard task to manage. Someone is always needing something... I want to play a game, I got to go potty, diaper changing, I need a drink, screaming, it goes on and on. The kids are good kids but lately I guess I'm not coping well with demands.

*Brennan cries more than he doesn't, the majority of the time. He's gassy or just un happy... Is that what they call a colicky baby? I keep thinking it's almost over, or he'll be fine for a couple of days only to start crying again. I feel bad leaving him in the swing, like I should be cuddling him but sometimes that's what he likes best.I keep thinking in the back of my mind he's being neglected or something.I honestly don't think this would even be a problem if I didn't have two other little ones needing me as well.

*I've been gross mom lately. Tuesday was the first weekday in a long time I was actually able to take a shower, put make up on, do my hair and get dressed before the day was almost over. I can't stand feeling gross and ugly. Thank you to Mikyla for that one!

*I need to get more sleep and attempt to take care of myself as well as the family. Why can't all my children nap at the same time? Or when they do.. I don't feel wide awake and not want to sleep?

*Kurt's work health fair was this week. I found out I'm down to 140 already, pretty dang good in eight weeks for not doing anything and reaching close to 200 lbs again this pregnancy! That made me feel pretty good. Only 15 to my ideal and 10 to be my average size again. I need to start doing something with my belly.. ugh, flab is hard to get rid of.

*Brennan is the fattest thing ever. He's got to be as big as Landen, comparing pictures that is. He has so many rolls, and creases, big cheeks and hands like Landen. He's just so squishy, in Amelia's words. Another little Michelin man. Our two boys so big and our girl the tiniest little thing!

*Amelia is successfully potty trained with a few accidents here and there. She's still wearing a diaper to bed, but wakes dry almost every single time. She looks so cute in her big girl panties, her and daddy picked out. Now, the task of finding pants that fit her correctly that don't scream out... DORK!

*I've been working on Sara's baby shower. It's going to be a lot of fun... I hope. One mix up was with the baby shower invites, I guess since it says She's on her way and is in pink that means she's having a girl. LOL! NO, she doesn't know what she's having! I have to clarify that with everyone coming.

*I miss Kurt. Even though school has slowed down A LOT since one of his classes is finished it still stinks. By the end of the day I'm so crabby and tired it's awful. Plus this week we've hardly seen him at night.. Landen actually asked me today why he doesn't get to see his dad very much. Doesn't that just break your heart?

*I feel really distant to people I used to be closer to.. I guess I'd just rather hibernate and hide than really go out and I've noticed this is happening. Part of me wishes we lived closer to my parents and the kids. Family just gets you, when others can't/don't!

*I'm going to grow my hair out again. I got it cut for the baptism so I wouldn't look shabby, but two years is too long to have the same hair style and it's sneaking up on me here. It grows pretty fast so hopefully by next spring it will be somewhat long!

*Adding some pictures since I love pictures! Why is it so dang cold???

Brennan's Baptism

October 11, 2009 is another date I'm going to try to remember very hard. Deacon Sam was telling us how the date you are baptized is just as important as remembering your birth date, it's a Sacramental rite, when you were born into the church. Guess I didn't really think about that before, so we're going to try harder to remember the kids baptismal days and light their candles each year. I think it will something really special to start doing!

The Baptism was lovely. Deacon Sam is getting older but he's so gentle and sweet I'm glad to have him do the baptisms for us. My entire family was able to come, it was great to have everyone together at once even if it is a bit crazy. Kurt's parents and grandpa were able to come along with one set of my grandparents and my Aunt Judy's family. It was a FULL house, and I wish we could have invited friends but with cold weather and not the biggest house we had to limit it! =)

Brennan was not himself, not sure if it was just the commotion of everyone and reading my mood of running around, etc. He wore the same outfit my brothers and Landen wore. However it was shorts and a t-shirt and it was 30 degrees. Poor thing. I put baby legs on him and kept him in a blanket the majority of the time. Crazy weather! Here are a few picturesBrennan with daddy. He wouldn't let anyone set him down for a picture of him in his little outfit. He was close to busting the seams.. big boy!He finally was asleep and then he was awaken from water being poured on his head. He screamed!
Godparents: Aunt Sara & Uncle Jake. Deacon Sam, Amelia, Kurt, Landen, Andrea & Brennan!

A grump with a message

I haven't been posting much on this blog lately and to be honest whenever I sit down to type all I can think of is really negative things and I shouldn't post about them all. Somethings are left to be in your heart and taken up with God, not sharing with everyone! It's a new season in my life and I just need to remember people and things don't always stay the same, you change, they change. I'm growing because of it.

However, on to other things... after a particularly nice homily Sunday from a guest priest I really left with a message about how you feel much better if you're doing something for others instead of spending time on facebook (and that is exactly what he said) or I should say, he said facepage. lol! I've been trying to keep that in mind, just doing more with my husband and children. The kids and I have been doing a lot of fun crafts and I just need to spend more time with them during the day and more time with Kurt in the evening!

Also I'm excited that this priest will be the guest priest at the Baptism Sunday, I'm glad to have someone I like at such a joyous occasion! I'm so glad to be getting Brennan baptised, it seems like we've been waiting forever and we're having a party afterwards - I heard back from most everyone I invited, I just hope we have a bit warmer weather for people to spread out a bit!

Also I wanted to share this photo Kurt took of me nursing Brennan. I love being able to fully take care of my child be breastfeeding. This was taken for A Mother's Boutique, she'll be showcasing it on her blog in November! I'm not the most elegant breastfeeding mother, but it captures the real us I think. Jeans, shirt, looking somewhat uncomfortable, no boppy, just a pillow, what a joy!

WW: Smiling Chunky Baby

Can you believe he's seven weeks old already? =)

There even with the honks & heckles

The life chain was again this year and once again a disappointment to me. Very few came once again and to be quite honest it made me really irritated for many reasons. People want to say they're pro-life but do next to nothing to even show that they are. Seriously, what is it saying when not that many people are standing out on a bridge with signs for being pro-life? It's saying that not that many people think that way and those that are on the fence about it think - well nobody else is, I'm not either. I'm not sure what it's like at other places, but our town as 2 Catholic Churches and two schools. If you're Catholic you're pro-life, you can't be both Catholic and pro-choice, so why can't people take 1 stinking hour out of their week to do something like this. I don't know, excuses I guess. I do realize that somethings do come up or you can't change plans, but common. These are big parishes and what we get maybe 5 pews worth of people. You know what it says to me, most people don't really care about stopping abortion. Argh, no more negativity - makes me mad.

On the other side of things - we went. Kurt, Landen, Amelia, Brennan and I! I love my husband so much, standing out there with the kids as I walked back and forth to the van with Brennan (who was having a horrible day.) Glad to say he's mine! Also it was great to see those that did come, and some of my family making the hour drive to stand in support as well. I loved that there were quite a bit more children than last year there as well... I think that's such a beautiful witness and teaching them about what's really important.

Watch and listen to entire video!