Just today I was talking to my mom about bringing your children to Mass and how I really believe it's very important, as I believe it's very important to attend as a family as often as possible.
I'm not sure where this stemmed from, it's just been on my mind a lot lately as I get closer to having the baby and the thought crosses my mind that perhaps Kurt and I should attend separately and leave Landen and Amelia at home. It crosses my mind, especially when we have a particularly eventful time at Mass, but I always come back to the same thing - no, they will go to Mass.
As I was making my run through some fantastic blogs that I don't get to read up on enough, Kate from Momopoly had her recent article she wrote for InsideCatholic.com on why she believes you should bring your children to Mass. She writes so eloquently, but what she says is exactly what I wish I could write out on paper. I agree with her completely and I urge you to read her article as well. It's wonderful!
For the most part our church is pretty family oriented I would say. However we usually attend the 10:30am - (in my words) Family Mass. Mostly families and I do believe people know what to except when coming. Attending Saturday night or even 8:00am I feel a bit awkward because of the occasional strange look - that I seem to think means, why are you here. No I am not going to let my children scream but they aren't going to be able to sit perfectly still for that long. They enjoy reading, singing, and responding loudly, which I hope will soften those people's hearts that think this is nothing but a distraction.
What do you do? What do you not-allow? I am particularly interested as we gear up for baby number 3 and only two adults. We only allow religious books and on occasion religious coloring books/activities. No toys and absolutely no food (I'm sorry but don't get me started on the food thing.) I'm hoping to baby-wear this baby as much as possible and have decided that I will not be retreating to nurse - nursing is a gift from God and shouldn't be hidden (yes I always nurse discreetly.)
Please read Kate's article. I'm curious as to what you think.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
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9 comments:
I have 3 kids and every Sunday I ask my self that same question and I always end up with the same answer. They have to go to church, because that's the only way they are going to learn about God and learn to be quiet and respectful when they are in the church. We have had those days were one of us has to get up and go outside but mostly they behave and the more time that passes the better they are getting at it. Good Luck.
I agree on going as a family as much as possible but that isn't always possible for us because my husband is in the restaurant business & rarely gets a Saturday or Sunday off. I allow my 3 yr old food if we sit in the nursery but not if we are in the church.
I think it's best to go as a family, but I admit more times than not we've done the "divide & conquer" because of how hectic it can be.
Our church does not have a cry room, and that's part of it.
I used to allow something small to eat in church, like Cheerios, but no longer. Going an hour is not too much, and if they get that crazy, we step out to visit the water fountain.
Aidan is truly old enough now to really get it, as he is 5. He doesn't always behave, but things have really gotten better.
One of us always winds up taking Brennan out, because he winds up yelling about something.
Bottom line, you are right. They will learn best by consistency, so kudos for toughing it out.
We think it's very important to go to Mass together as a family. My daughter is 16 months old and it's getting to be tough though. We don't have a cry room in our church, so we have to take her out to the narthex where all the other families with toddler retreat to. But it's very important to go as a family, so we just rough it out and try and work on getting her to make it through Mass quietly.
When we teach the baptism class at our parish we always stress that we think its important for children to attend Mass. Ours always go. The number of times they have missed mass in their lives can probably be counted on one hand. They are now 9 and 12 years old. They don't argue about going because they know it is what is going to happen.
When they were small we made a point of always sitting in the same spot (at the same Mass). I figured that this way someone who didn't want to be around kids could sit someplace else - we weren't ambushing someone's quiet corner.
Our expectations for them changed as they got older - from simply not being a disturbance, to sitting, standing and kneeling at the appropriate times and finally to following along and making the appropriate responses.
When our oldest was very small we did bring Cheerios and a bottle for her (though we didn't do that with our son). They were allowed small/quiet toys and religious books. But once they got old enough to follow along - no toys.
Our kids know that come the weekend it's not a question of "Are we going to Mass" but "which Mass are we going to".
I won't deny that there were several years when I don't have any idea what the sermon about (our son was a handful) but I'm glad we toughed it out.
Good luck with number three!
You are doing the right thing Andrea... who said, " let the Little Children come unto Me?"
Andrea ~ If I could do this all over again, I would definitely do it a bit differently.
Years ago, with eight little ones in tow, Mike was not attending church with me, so it was all on my head.
I am afraid I took the easy way out & only took those who knew how to behave *to a point*, starting at about the age of 3, and up.
Gradually, of course, they all knew how to behave @ Mass by the time they were 5 or 6, but it took a long time to get things under such control!
Thankfully, I was able to teach them so well @ home besides, that by the time they got to CCD their teachers were able to report to me that they knew more than most other kids in their classes...so I am most grateful for that.
Keep doing what you are doing, you won't regret it!
PS ~ As a side note, happily now that they are all grown, Mike HAS returned to the Sacraments, but I still wish he had been going the entire time. It just would have been easier, eh? xo
I have REALLY been struggling with this same issue for a while now. I am having ALOT of trouble getting Liesie to behave during Mass and I have no idea what to do about it. It sounds like I allow alot more than your other commenters. I allow toys and books and I've starting giving snacks again too because snacks seem to keep them quiet more than anything else. I don't expect the girls to sit still and be completely quiet but I do expect them to not be banging on the pews or screaming or hitting me to get my attention.
I definitely believe that kids need to go to Mass. I do have the option of leaving them with dad and just going myself but I feel like they need to go even if they are too young to understand the actual content just to learn that it is important and to learn that the entire world does not revolve around THEM. I have left Libbie with dad a couple times when I was SERIOUSLY having issues keeping Liesie quiet so it's not that I am against that idea I just think taking all the kids is the best option if it's possible.
Goood blog post
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