er brings tears to my eyes. Until you have your own children you can't even begin to understand that feeling.However, I absolutely hate the third, fourth and however many days it seems to go on for me low of after having the baby. The feeling of frustration, over-whelmed by everything, anxious, just the feeling of depression. No matter how little stimulation, quiet, whatever I still manage to feel like this. The thought of Kurt going back to work in a few days makes me want to cry. Thank goodness I have the most wonderful family in the world who have all volunteered to just sit and stare at me if that's what I want. I love that!
I'll be happy when this feeling subsides because it really does take away so much and I dread it my entire pregnancy - feeling like that. There is no reason to cry but I always manage to do it. Oh do I hate it. Because of this I decided I just can't deal with the frustration of cloth diapers right now. I have everything prepared for Brennan but his little butt is quite tiny and being so very inexperienced when it comes to newborns in cloth after two days I'm just too exhausted and frustrated to continue. I sent Kurt to purchase the Huggies new pure and natural disposables, they're
organic cotton, hypoallergenic and have aloe & vit. E. I don't want to take the chance of him breaking out like Amelia does so very badly whenever a disposable touches her little skin. I'm definitely going to continue to use the cloth though in a week or two - but for now while I'm re cooperating this is the way it has to be.Other than that everything else is going smoothly. He's a little suckler when it comes to nursing. We nurse several times an hour and cuddle all day long. I'm excited to get the baby-carriers out because I know they are going to be wonderful this time around! I know in time this feeling will subside and just taking care of myself and getting plenty of rest helps. I'm going on and making the best of this. It actually helps to write out how I'm feeling. Does anyone else ever feel like this? I know it's common.
Thanks for all the wonderful prayers and congratulations you all have sent. I hope to write up the birth story soon. God Bless!
10 comments:
Let me know if you need any extra help!! And don't forget we still want to bring you guys dinner sometime so let me know whenever you don't have anything else already coming!!
You know you can start using your carriers whenever you want to? It doesn't add extra weight or anything. I started using mine at 1 day and Bernice even suggested it that early.
I hope you are feeling better soon! You know I had some issues with the blues too but a bit later on. I can't tell you how to make it go away but I thought it helped to know I wasn't the only one feeling that way like I thought I was.
Adorable pics!!! He is even cuter with his eyes open =]
Brennan is so adorable!!! And they all look so cute together!! I'm glad to hear everything is going well :)
I had a pretty similar yucky experience after both kids were born.
When Lucas was a week old and Tim went back to work, I cried and begged him to stay home. I couldn't deal with the thought of caring for Lucas or myself or the house. It was all too overwhelming. And that was the high point of the next little while.
After Gwendolyn was born, it was slightly better than that. But still general chaos and unhappiness. I cried a lot.
I'm not looking forward to the newborn period this time around... I know (from past experience) that the baby probably won't learn to nurse, probably won't sleep and will be colicky. That, along with a major upheaval to the kids routines and me recovering from giving birth just doesn't sound very pleasant..
But, this too shall pass :) I think it would be ideal to have a sweet, cuddly little newborn, without all of the yucky feelings.
If you need help with absolutely anything, let me know!!
And don't worry about not cloth diapering!! It's no big deal at all to have kids in disposables for a while :) Both of mine are in paper diapers until further notice, if it makes you feel better. Do whatever you can to make your life easier and stress-free.
I only have one baby, so in comparision I have little experience but It took me over a year to not feel that way. Ok, I did get a grip on things before that but till I felt ok again it was a year. Argh. I want to have another baby but at the same time, I'm so scared to feel that terrible again. Your baby is so sweet!!! I love babies and he's a cutie!!
I felt that way after my first was born. I cried and cried and cried. He had projectile vomiting and that threw me over the edge. I have never seen such a sight!! After my second was born so quickly after my first, I thought I really was crazy! Add to that the tragedy of the death of a student in my class and I was whack. My mom was so good to me after my husband went back to work. It takes support from your family and friends. You'll see the light soon and one day reread this and laugh. I'm going to come back and reread this after our number three is born so I can be reminded that I'm not the only one, too. :)
Absolutely, Andrea. You are brave & smart for posting this here. Our hormones can feel so cruel with the way they make our minds change, and it IS normal to feel this way. It's a big change. A beautiful change, but still a big change. Any big change, even the best ones, cause some stress and anxiety. Like your wedding, right?
But your family is beautiful, and I'm willing to bet shortly down the road we'll be seeing a post from you about how it all feels normal now, your new normal.
I'm glad your family is able to help you. I wish I lived closer to at least bring you a meal or something. Let me know if you need anything and I'll sure try.
And I think it's great you're trying the Huggies. Do what's best & easiest for you right now. All things will smooth out.
Praying for ya! Love ya!
Andrea you are so sweet and such a great mom, take care of yourself and let all those offering help take care of your kids. You getting time to adjust and re-cover is the best thing you can do for your family. I will be praying for you, you are still supermom but even supermom needs help sometimes! Your family is beautiful enjoy them!
Of course you feel like that!!! Your body has been through a huge ordeal, your hormones are completely out of whack, you are trying to produce milk to feed this little guy, and you're up all night. It's normal, and it stinks ;)
But it DOES get better :) Once you get into a routine, and take some regular showers, and get some more chunks of sleep - all will be better. I think that's why the first three month's of a baby's life are such a big blur because you don't really WANT to remember everyting!
I'm dreading those first few weeks at home too. But for me, the worst is the breastfeeding. Like a nightmare really. Crying and curling my toes into the floor and trying to stick with it. No fun at all.
But it always gets better! Otherwise we would never have more children :)
Thanks for being vulnerable, Andrea. I sincerely hope that "fog" lifts and your heart lightens soon.
Your friend,
Stephanie
I really wanted to call you, but settled on this response so I would be able to think more carefully and not forget things.
What you are experiencing is your body's normal response to hormonal shifts. Right after birth your body changes from the placenta being virtually 100% responsible for your "female"" hormone production to the pituitary returning to that job. Top that with the fact that hormones are secreted into your blood stream in spurts and you have fluctuating ups and downs hormonally speaking. Some women hardly notice a change at all and others suffer greatly.
So you can see things at this time are variable and precarious to say the least.
The bad news is that all this balancing can take several weeks to several months to return to "normal". Ughh.
The good news is 3 fold. Yeah!!
#1 It doesn't last forever, and getting back into your "normal" routine (slowly of course) helps you feel better, faster.
#2 Herbs and vitamins can greatly help balance your body's hormone levels, until your body is doing that itself.
#3 Last but not least, placenta consumption is HIGHLY effective.
Here are some of the herbs/vitamins that help.
St. John's Wort - taken three tablets per day. Caution should be used with larger doses.
Evening Primrose Oil - Reported to be quite helpful. Take 3 capsules per day.
Motherwort and blessed thistle - 2 helpful herbs. Take as recommended on the bottle.
Licorice root, Raspberry leaf, Rosemary leaves and Skullcap - combined and brewed together, are recommended in Susan Weed’s book; Wise Woman Herbal for the Childbearing Year .
Progesterone cream - use as recommended on the bottle.
Vitamin E - Take as recommended on the bottle.
Now about the placenta thing.
I know it sounds wierd, but it does work! Animals do it! According to Chinese medicine, placenta is considered a powerful and sacred medicine, full of life force. The use of placenta during the postpartum course aids in recovery from childbirth and minimizes postpartum depression. The placenta is full of natural oxytocins which are responsible for contracting the uterus and minimizing postpartum bleeding. Also, it contains hormones which have recently made the mainstream news showing them (hormones in the placenta) helpful in the relief of postpartum depression. Women who use placenta have said it makes them feel nurtured, more calm, and less anxious. In my experience it has keep women, who previously had to be hospitalized because their PPD became a psychosis, well balanced, happy, and at home.
You can ask my Liz (or I can recommend many others) and she will tell you about her experience with encapsulated dried placenta. Even an "older" frozen placenta can be dehydrated and encapsulated, so if you've saved yours, it is not too late.
The important thing is to know that you do not just have to grin and bear it. Actually studies have shown that ignoring your feelings tends to make ppd worse. Now you have some tools with which you can help yourself feel better until your body returns to a more normal "happy" state. jean
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