A couple of weeks ago I found a disgusting flaw about myself.. well I always find things that I should work on and things but this one really struck my nerve. I've been teaching Landen to do little chores that he can actually do himself (we've always done this to a certain extent, but actual chores that he can participate in and I don't have to do anything) and making his bed is one. He does really well with it, but I found myself remaking his bed. Is this sick or what? I stopped myself in my tracks and was like - what is wrong with me? The good little guy makes his bed but it's not good enough, for pity sakes he's 3 and I remake it. I just stood there feeling like the worst mom, how would that make me feel... exactly a loser. Argh! So now I no longer remake is bed and it looks all messy but he did it himself so it looks great! I seriously need to work on not being a perfectionist, I certainly didn't think I was, but I guess I might have a little bit of that in me. Yuck!
Kurt and I have both been telling Landen how proud we are for the great things he does... and because of this we've been hearing a lot of "moommmm, dddaaadddd... you're soooo proud of me" in this loving little way. It's so sweet! He's getting to be such a big boy.
Along those lines, how do your teach your children when they say sorry to actually mean it? Landen is very good about saying sorry, excuse me, etc. but a lot of times I know he just says sorry because he thinks that's what you're supposed to say, but then goes right on doing what he was doing. I realize a lot of this might be his age, but how do you actually teach him what sorry means? Does it just come with time and just continue to teach him good manners? I also told him that certain things hurt God and that we need to be sorry to him... I think he understood that for the most part. Then the next thing I hear him doing is "sorry God" so I'm just wondering, thinking, and praying about how to go about this next step. There is always something new happening while raising kids. =)
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
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2 comments:
I am also too much of a perfectionist. Not that I want it perfect but that I want it MY way. I don't think it's a disgusting flaw it's just a hard habit to break when you are so used to doing everything yourself and now you are letting someone else do it. But he is learning to take care of himself so it's a good thing.
And actually BEING sorry I think comes with age. They don't really know right from wrong at this age..they just know Mommy/Daddy does or doesn't want me to do this or that. Kind of like why they don't do First Communion til 7 yrs old. By teaching him manners you're helping him understand what is and is not acceptable and as he gets older he will start to figure out the WHY.
I am so there with you about the perfectionist thing. Lucas helps unload the dishwasher all the time, and I have to cotinually remind myself that it doesn't matter if all of the glasses are in a straight line or if they're artfully scattered around the cabinet. It's important that Lucas is learning to do things himself and that he gains cofidence in his abilities. He won't if I'm always redoing his work... :) I even have to remind myself not to correct/help/redo my husband's work, too. He doesn't do things the way I would do them with the children, for example. But at the end of the day, everyone is still happy, fed, and loved. And that's all that really matters...
And I totally agree with Teri about being sorry. It will come when they're older. For now we just need to guide them and try to teach them right and wrong :)
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