Turning over a new leaf

I've been feeling very sorry for myself lately and doing some serious complaining, even if it hasn't been verbally spoken to anyone that's how I've been feeling. Maybe because I'm not that great at change or maybe it's just me being overwhelmed with things. I don't know exactly what all the problems are.. but they've been here and I'm mostly finding myself feeling sorry for myself when it comes to Kurt being back in school and all that comes along with it. I hate that he has to work longer hours, I hate that he's tired, I hate that there is such thing as homework, I hate less time for the kids, less time for me, it seems like the list could go on. I find myself being a serious mope and down about the entire situation, I can't couldn't get past any of the negative and look at the positive.

Then I realized something last night.. why it took me so long to figure it out I don't know... how selfish I've been about it. We knew it would be hard but it's not really all that hard on me as it is Kurt. I thought to myself how God doesn't give us things we can't handle and that I've been approaching this in the worst way. So for myself I'm writing this out, to help me remember what God has already given me and this is just another path he wants us to follow right now. It's going to be hard but I need to be thankful for what I have, and for some reason it's easy for me to forget that...
I thank God that Kurt is even able to go back to school, that we aren't financially burdened because of it. I'm thankful that I'm able to live the best life I can even imagine, staying home with my beautiful, very healthy children and have an incredibly loving husband who wants the same. That we have no profound medical problems and lead healthy lives. The support system I have when I do get down about things, our great families that would do anything for us. Everything I take for granted everyday I need to be thankful and thank God for.

I'm mostly writing this post today for myself - I honestly felt like I ran into a wall with what came over me and I need to remember it. I'm not going to be a mope about what's going on right now, but try to find the positive. Not that I won't be upset occasionally, but I'm going to start over and really try to make the best out of it. I need to remember the people that really have problems, minor or major that I know right now... going through things I can't even imagine. It makes me feel rotten complaining about these sorts of things. I need to offer it up for them.

I love my husband and know we made the right decision with this! I'm turning a new leaf over, working harder at being more thankful. Prayer really helps you see things more clearly.